10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages.
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly...............................................................................
So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.
10 Best Answering Machine Messages
The Salty Coffee
He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, “Please, let me go home…”
Suddenly he asked the waiter, “Would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.” Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, “Why you have this hobby?” He replied, “When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there.” While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home… Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.
That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life… And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that’s the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said, “My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life’s lie. This was the only lie I said to you — the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything… Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste… But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again.”
Her tears made the letter totally wet. One day, someone asked her, “What’s the taste of salty coffee?” She replied, “It’s sweet.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Love is not to forget but to forgive, not to see but understand, not to hear but to listen, not to let go but HOLD ON…
Slip of The Tongue
by Adriel Luis
My glares burn through her.
And I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to her
because the essence of her beauty is, well, the essence of beauty.
And in the presence of this higher being,
the weakness of my masculinity kicks in,
causing me to personify my wannabe big-baller, shot-caller,
God’s gift to the female species with shiny suit wrapping rapping like,
“Yo, what’s crackin shorty how you livin’ what’s your sign what’s your size I dig your style, yo.”
Now, this girl was no fool.
She gives me a dirty look with the quickness like,
“Boy, you must be stupid.”
so I’m looking at myself,
“Boy, you must be stupid.”
But looking upon her I am kinda feelin’ her style.
So I try again.
But, instead of addressing her properly,
I blurt out one of my fake-ass playalistic lines like,
“Gurl, you must be a traffic ticket cuz you got fine written all over you.”
Now, she’s trying to leave and I’m trying to keep her here.
So at a final attempt, I utter,
“Gurl, what is your ethnic makeup?”
At this point, her glare was scorching through me,
and somehow she manages to make her brown eyes
resemble some kinda brown fire or something,
but there’s no snap or head moement,
no palm to face, click of tongue, middle finger,
roll of eyes, twist of lips, or girl power chant.
She just glares through me with these burning eyes
and her gaze grabs you by the throat.
She says, “Ethnic makeup?”
She says, “First of all, makeup’s just an anglicized, colonized, commodified utility
that my sisters have been programmed to consume,
forcing them to cover up their natural state
in order to imitate what another sister looks like in her natural state
because people keep telling her
that the other sister’s natural state is more beautiful
than the first sister’s natural state.
At the same time,
the other sister isn’t even in her natural state,
because she’s trying to imitate yet another sister,
so in actuality, the natural state that the first sister’s trying to imitate
wasn’t even natural in the first place.”
Now I’m thinking, “Damn, this girl’s kicking knowledge!”
But, meanwhile, she keeps spitting on it like
“Fine. I’ll tell you bout my ‘ethnic makeup.’
I wear foundation,
not that powdery shit,
I wear the foundation laid by my indigenous people.
It’s that foundation that makes it so that past being globalized,
I can still vocalize with confidence that i know where my roots are.
I wear this foundation not upon my face, but within my soul,
and I take this from my ancestors
because I’ll be damned if I’d ever let an American or European corporation
tell me what my foundation
should look like.”
I wear lipstick,
for my lips stick to the ears of men,
so they can experience in surround sound my screams of agony
with each lash of rulers, measuring tape, and scales,
as if my waistline and weight are inversely propotional to my value as a human being.
See my lips, they stick, but not together.
Rather, they flail open with flames to burn down this culture that once kept them shut.
Now, I mess with eye shadow,
but my eyes shadow over this time where you’ve gone at ends to keep me blind.
But you can’t cover my eyes, look into them.
My eyes foreshadow change.
My eyes foreshadow light.
and I’m not into hair dyeing.
but I’m here, dying, because this oppression won’t get out of my hair.
I have these highlights.
They are highlights of my past atrocities,
they form this oppression I can’t wash off.
It tangles around my mind and twists and braids me in layers,
this oppression manifests,
it’s stressing me so that even though I don’t color my hair,
in a couple of years it’ll look like I dyed it gray.
So what’s my ethnic makeup ?
I don’t have any.
Because your ethnicity isn’t something you can just make up.
And as for that crap my sisters paint on their faces, that’s not makeup, it’s make-believe.”
I can’t seem to look up at her.
and I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to her
because the expression on her face
shows that she knows that my mind is in a trance.
As her footsteps fade, my ego is left in crutches.
And rejection never sounded so sweet.
10 Tips to Avoid Phishing Scams
Whenever you're about to interact with a financial Web site or a site that asks for personal information, use the following tips to steer clear of phishers:
- Always type the address of the site you want to visit directly into your browser. Phishing e-mails use addresses that look legitimate but send you to the fake site when you click.
- When you visit the site, be alert to spelling and grammatical errors, bad formatting and spacing and strange or inconsistent use of company logos. Phishing sites often make these kinds of mistakes.
- Don't be fooled by the presence of genuine links and telephone numbers. Fake sites often include some accurate information to help trick people.
- Security certificates (the lock icon representing "SSL") can be spoofed. If something doesn't feel right about the site, don't let your guard down just because you see the certificate.
- Be especially suspicious of e-mail containing urgent warnings about account problems. These are designed to panic people and make them ignore their common sense.
- Don't assume that an e-mail is legitimate even if the sender's name appears to be the name of a legitimate institution. The "From" field in an e-mail can be faked to look legitimate.
- Scammers use the address or URL to trick you by hiding their true nature at the end of a long address (e.g. http://login.realfinancialinstutionname.actualphishingsite.com). When in doubt, call the institution for assistance before providing any personal information online.
- Be cautious about using your main e-mail address to sign up for Web offers. Some sites allow addresses to be picked up by phishing gangs. McAfee's free SiteAdvisor tool warns you about sites that resulted in unwanted e-mail.
- Use a stand-alone spam filter or a security suite with a built-in spam filter from a well-known vendor like McAfee to reduce the number of phishing e-mails that make it to your inbox.
- Use a browser with built-in phishing protection like Internet Explorer 7 or Firefox 2, and add additional anti-phishing by using the free McAfee SiteAdvisor plug-in.
How To Ask a Girl Out
By Ashtyn Evans
One of the toughest things a man can do is attempt to get a date. Many men struggle with this from the moment they enter puberty up until they are married.
If you are a man that has been in the dating arena unsuccessfully for a while, then you may be thinking women are not interested in you because of your social status, insecurities, or looks. The truth is that it does not always matter what you have. It matters who you are and how you portray yourself.
With the right technique, any man can pick up nearly any girl he wants. All you need to do is believe in yourself enough to follow these simple steps.
- Always leave home well-groomed. While, you do not have to be the best-looking man on the block, it does help if you look like you care about your appearance.
Wear nice, clean clothes and cologne when you go out. Remember that while you are single right now, first impressions mean everything. Dress to impress her, whoever she may be.
If you have been wearing the same pants since 1982, buy some new ones! You want to show her that you are ready for any situation the moment it arises, even if it is just asking her out.
You might be asking yourself if you are just running to the grocery store why you need to wear your best clothes. The answer is simple. You never know when you are going to meet a girl you might be interested in dating.
If you find her in the ten items or less line, and you are holding a 12-pack of beer, some corn nuts, and you have on your patented "plumber" sweatpants, how interested do you think she is going to be?
- Think about what you are going to say before you say it. No matter what female you approach, you will find there will be one universal truth about them all. All women like to be complimented.
Flattery will get you much further than cynical and rude behavior. You might think girls like bad boys and this may be true. However, if a girl likes a bad boy, that bad boy is still nice to her.
Have a general idea of what you want to say. If you know the girl well, comment on something you know she likes to do or likes about herself and go from there.
If you do not know the girl and you want to get to know her, try making a joke or asking her for help when you are making a decision. For instance, if you are in a grocery store, ask for help in picking out a certain brand or a type of produce. Women love to rescue that adorably helpless man in an everyday situation.
Use things like this to your advantage. No matter what, remember that what you say initially will help to make or break your chances.
- Never be afraid to ask for what you want. If you want to ask a girl out but you do not feel you know her well enough, test the waters and ask for her phone number.
- Have a Plan of Action. If you know the girl, it is best to plan the first date around her interests.
If she is a chef, you might offer to take her out for a gourmet meal that she does not have to cook! If she likes the outdoors, you might suggest a picnic on the beach. Whatever you plan does not really matter as long as you have her interests in mind.
You might want to test the waters by asking her what her dream date would be like. If you can make her dream date happen, consider asking her if she would like to go on that date with you!
Of course, you could always surprise her with the date of a lifetime. By doing so, you are sure to give her one date she will never forget.
- Only make promises you can keep. The most important thing is that you fulfill any promises you make. Be yourself and have a good time with her.
Women like men who are comfortable with themselves. Just be honest and up-front and you will see how easy asking her out can be. In fact, if you continue this trend, you may even get more than one date out of the deal.
If she likes your approach, she will give you hers or ask for yours. If she gives you her number, call her. You can almost guarantee if this happens that it will be possible to get a date with her. However, use the phone number to your advantage at least once.
When you call to ask her out be polite and funny. Be charming! Try to have an idea of what you want to say when she picks up the phone. Being prepared will help make the presentation better and her decision to go on a date with you much easier.
Asking women out is a breeze when following these tips. In fact, women are usually just as nervous in these moments as men are. Go easy, be honest, and have fun and she is sure to return the favor tenfold!
How To Throw a Divorce Party
While a divorce is often an event that is filled with a lot of hurt and remorse, the fact is that some people experience a great deal of relief that a bad situation is now behind them. In cases like this, the only logical thing to do is throw a divorce party. Here are a few things to think about should the need arise to pull together a divorce party for yourself or a friend.
- The great thing about a divorce party is there are not a lot of traditions that one has to observe. You can make the party into anything that you want it to be. For example, you can have a beautiful seven-course sit-down affair followed with drinks and a piano in the background. Or you may want to go with balloons, confetti, a buffet loaded with foods that taste great and are bad for you, accompanied with the loudest and most lively music you can find. It's your party and it can have any tone you want it to have.
- When it comes to the invitations, be creative. You may want to go with something along the lines of, "You are invited to celebrate the renewed freedom of Mr. John Smith this coming Saturday evening at 6 p.m. Bring your appetite and plenty of well wishes." If the divorce was messy, you may want to get in some last little digs with something like, "You are invited to my Hawaiian-style divorce celebration this coming Friday evening at 7 p.m. While we will be having roast pig, it will not be my ex on the spit."
- Make sure your guests know the tone is to be festive and lots of fun. That means no pity party, just lots of laughs as you launch yourself into this new phase of your life. Tell them that while you won't be too upset if someone brings along a dartboard made with a picture of your ex, you do want to keep the focus on the future, not the past.
- As to whom you invite, make sure it is people who mean a lot to you. This will mean relatives, friends, coworkers, and neighbors, just about everyone who has stood by you during the difficult times. They will be part of your support network as you move forward, so use this party as a way to let them know they are appreciated and that their efforts are paying off.
- For you personally, see the divorce party as one way of putting closure on the marriage that is no more. Use the party to remind yourself that you were a whole person before you ever got married, and you are a whole person now. The divorce party is the start of your new life and is to be a time filled with a lot of laughs and well wishes.
Above all, make your divorce party into what you want it to be, and you will find that the morning after, you will have a lot of great memories to propel you into your future. After all, that is what a party is all about.
Who You Are Makes A Difference!
by Helice Bridges
A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by telling them the difference they each made. Using a process developed by Helice Bridges of Del Mar, California, she called each student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told them how the student made a difference to her and the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."
Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three I more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom and report back to the class in about a week.
One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons, and said, "We're doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Then please report back to me and tell me what happened."
Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss said, "Well, sure."
The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you do me a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects people."
That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I'm a creative genius. Then he put this blue ribbon that says 'Who I Am Makes A Difference' on my jacket above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you.
"My Days are really hectic and when I come home I don't pay a lot of attention to you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit here and well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid and I love you!"
The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn't stop crying. His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, "I was planning on committing suicide tomorrow, Dad, because I didn't think you loved me. Now I don't need to."
Phobia Part 1
Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
Acarophobia- Fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.
Achluophobia- Fear of darkness.
Acousticophobia- Fear of noise.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights.
Aeroacrophobia- Fear of open high places.
Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place.
Agraphobia- Fear of sexual abuse.
Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Algophobia- Fear of pain.
Altophobia- Fear of heights.
Angrophobia- Fear of anger or of becoming angry.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers.
Androphobia or Arrhenphobia- Fear of men.
Arsonphobia- Fear of fire.
Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.
Batrachophobia- Fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders, etc.
Belonephobia- Fear of pins and needles. (Aichmophobia)
Bibliophobia- Fear of books.
Cacophobia- Fear of ugliness.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Cleithrophobia or Cleisiophobia- Fear of being locked in an enclosed place.
Cleptophobia- Fear of stealing.
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer.
Cynophobia- Fear of dogs or rabies.
Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia- Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
5 Signs that Your Wife is Cheating!
Before you read on about the 5 signs of a cheating wife listed below, you must keep in mind that observing these signs in your spouse does not guarantee that your wife is unfaithful. On the other hand, not noticing these signs does not mean that your wife is truly faithful as well. If you are suddenly becoming more aware of these signs in your wife, investigate further before you accuse her of anything. Accusing her straight on may very well cause even more strain in a rocky relationship. When you have got enough information to talk to your wife about cheating straight on, go ahead and do it. But for now, read on with an open mind.
1. Suddenly becoming more aware of her appearance and what she is wearing
If you normally see your wife around the house in a bathrobe with her hair in a scrunchie, it is definitely suspicious to see her walking around in a dress with matching pumps all of the sudden. Her becoming more conscious of her appearance can mean that there is someone she is becoming more conscious for. And if she’s not displaying herself for you, then she must be getting all gorgeous for someone. If she’s even taking the time to take her hair out of that scrunchie and use a curling iron for some soft, romantic waves—start asking some questions!
2. Sudden changes in schedule (either working late or extra weekends)
If your wife has a new work schedule that may involve some set overtime, it wouldn’t hurt to ask about her new workload. Finding out more about her new workload is a very caring and concerned thing to do, even without thinking about the possibility of her cheating. If she finds difficulty answering about the details, you may have to be a bit worried about what exactly she may be working late for. Go ahead and ask, either way, it’s something a caring husband who provides proper attention for his wife would do.
3. Catching her lying or making up excuses
If you notice that your wife is ‘forgetting’ to wear her wedding ring or leaving it at home more than often, you may definitely be a bit curious. Once you catch her caught in a lie of her own, it may be likely that she could be unfaithful also.
4. Negative change in your sex life
If the passion in your marriage seems to be hanging on a thread, there may be a chance that your wife is having her sexual needs met elsewhere.
5. Different numbers on the telephone bills or strange charges on credit card statements
If there are strange phone calls at home, where she may simply hang-up all of a sudden, or tell you that it was a wrong number afterward, these may be signs of a cheating spouse. Credit card charges which don’t seem to match up are also clear clues of cheating. g herself for you, then she must be getting all gorgeous for someone. If she’s even taking the time to take her hair out of that scrunchie and use a curling iron for some soft, romantic waves—start asking some questions!
How To Install Love
Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment.
Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: Thank you, God.
** thank you cory...
I Just Want You To Know I Moved On
No more feeling lonely and depressingly blue
Could give a damn about what's gotten into you
No more wondering who you are with late at night
No longer worried if something I'll do will start a fight
No more wondering why you say the hurtful things you say
No more caring about what new gossip your mother made up about me today
No more questioning about the things that you do
No more backstabbing me and then telling me "I Love You'
I'm unveiling my face, taking off my mask
Letting you go was not the easiest task
I try to erase everything that you did to me, from my mind
You are now the past, no more backstabbing, let down the knife
Goodbye, I will continue on, as I turn a new chapter in my life.
Love Attitude
Your love nature is thoughtful, poetic, mystical and mysterious. A few people with love attitude number seven are class clowns, and they usually attract gals who like to be given a hard time. But most of you are the quiet, reserved types who dislike calling attention to yourself. Your type generally attracts guys who feel the same way you do. Your refined, independent and secretive nature is very alluring to certain gals. At times you can also be somewhat fault finding and a little demanding in your love relationship and with friends. You are mostly attracted to gals who aren't like all the rest; a loner easily attracts you. And, if she reads a lot and enjoys learning, she is especially perfect for you.
******
really???
errr...
Chihuahua puppy born with love-heart pattern in fur
The chihuahua was born in May as one of a litter to a breeder.
Shop owner Emiko Sakurada said it was the first time a puppy with the marks had been born out of a thousand she had bred.
She had no plans to sell the puppy, which has been named "Heart-kun".
Special Girl
There is a girl that I love indeed.
I always think about her day and night I don't know if thats right.
I cant get her out of my head even while I'm lying in bed she is always on my mind people say Im blind.
Every time I talk to her I feel like a boat on cold thick ice.
Her heart is my love she is more beautiful than the oceans surface.
She brings me laughter
My eyes sparkle in happiness.
Robosapien V2
Robosapien V2 is a highly evolved robotic fusion of technology and personality, combining fluid biomechanical motion with a multi-sensory, interactive humanoid personality. This 24” tall, second generation Robosapien is capable of autonomous “free roam” behavior, and includes the following features:
- Multiple levels of environmental interaction, with humans and objects
- Sight, sound and touch senses
- Humanoid body movements, including bending, sitting and standing, lying down and getting up, dancing, waving, martial arts …
- Speech: Responds verbally to environmental stimuli and to controller commands
- Color Vision System: Recognizes colors and skin tones
- Stereo Sound Detection System: “Hears” and reacts to sounds
- IR Vision: Detects and avoids obstacles; tracks moving objects
- True bi-pedal walking with multiple gaits
- Precision gripping, articulated fingers
- Realistic 2-axis turning head with animated LED eyes
- 100 pre-programmed functions
- 2 demonstration modes
- 6 programming modes
- Remote control, autonomous “free roam” and guard modes
- Sleep and auto-shut off function
Price: 200€
Dear Me
eto na naman tayo? kala ko ba ok ka na? kala ba ayos lang lahat? emaket nag uumpisa ka na naman? Dude, tayong dalawa lang ang nagkakaintindihan tayo lang ang dalawa ang magkakampi. umalis man sila tayong dalawa pa din ang magkasama ako ikaw at ikaw ako lang. wag mong sabihing ok lang lahat sumigaw ka pag alam mong hindi mo kaya. hindi lahat kaya mong itanim sa sarili mo hindi ka bakal at lalong wala ka sa komiks na kapag nilapat mo sa kabilang page ok na agad ang bida.
sanay naman tayong dalawa ang magkasama simula noon pa di ba? ni hindi nga tayo naghihiwalay. nung ginawa mo yung bagay na yun habang sinusugatan mo yung sarili mo di ba sabi ko sayo wag masama yun. walang dumamay sating dalawa kaya nasa room lang tayo. Pare kung bibigay ka paano naman ako hindi ko kayang ihakbang ang isang paa kung wala ka. tandaan mo yung pinag usapan natin noong nakaraan tinalikuran man nila tayong dalawa ngitian lang natin sila.
madaming taong njan pa din para sa atin at alam mo kung sino yung mga yun. hindi ka mawawalan pag nawala sila sa atin ikaw pa din si ___ na gaya ng dati. tawanan mo lang lahat. pag may pumuri magpasalamat at pag may kumalaban ngitian mo lang. gaya ng dati. sa mundong to tayong dalawa lang ang magsasandalan.
basta gaya ng sabi ko sayo andito lang ako. walang bitiwan walang ayawan. salamat din njan ka para itama ako at njan ako para itama ka. salamat ulet.
eLy's Rant
madami pa ngang ndi nakakakilala sakin. sabi nila kilala na nila ako pero ang masasabi ko lang... "BULLSHIT!" wag nyong sabihing kilala nyo ako. oo kilala nyo ako pero kilala nyo ako sa pangalan ko lang "eLy/bhong" yan lang ang kilala nyo sakin. pero kung sasabihin nyong kilala nyo na ako mag-isip na muna kayo. ako nga sa sarili ko ndi ko kilala e KAYO pa!
kung ako senyo MANAHIMIK NA LANG KAYO! MGA PAKSYET!
Pachelbel's Canon in D Major
Pachelbel's Canon, also known as Canon in D major, or more formally, Canon and Gigue in D major for three Violins and Basso Continuo (Kanon und Gigue in D-Dur für drei Violinen und Basso Continuo) is the most famous piece of music by Johann Pachelbel. It was written in or around 1680. during the Baroque period, as a piece of chamber music for three violins and basso comtinuo, but has since been arranged for a wide variety of ensembles. The Canon was originally paired with a gigue in the same key, although this composition is rarely performed or recorded today. It is well known for its chord progression which has become one of the most used in popular music.
Batibot Theme
Pagmulat ng mata,
Langit nakatawa
Sa batibot,
Sa batibot
Tayo nang magpunta
Tuklasin sa batibot
Ang tuwa, ang saya
Doon sa batibot
Tayo na, tayo na
Mga bata sa batibot
Maliksi, masigla. (2x)
Dali, sundan natin
Ang ngiti ng araw
Doon sa batibot (2x)
Tayo nang magpunta
Tuklasin sa batibot
Ang tuwa, ang saya
Doon sa batibot
Tayo na, tayo na
Mga bata sa batibot
Maliksi, masigla. (2x)
Somewhere Out There
Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight
Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky
Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true
Lulling Cradle
Those good old days, I pray won't fade
When I was young and in Mother's care
Oh, to hear dear Mother's lullaby again
The song of love as she rocked my cradle.
In my deep and peaceful slumber
The stars watch over me in vigil
Life was like heaven in the arms of Mother
Now my heart longs for the lulling cradle.
Those good old days, I pray won't fade
When I was young and in Mother's care
Oh, to hear dear Mother's lullaby again
The song of love as she rocked my cradle.
Lull me, Mother, in my dear old cradle
Oh, Mother.
40 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex With Women
1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay (BUT BY NO MEANS THE ONLY ONE!!!).
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. Knock it off!
3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's pain damn it!
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and sooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy is not.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention!
8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, .... and remember ... it is not the on button for you to hit repeatedly! So, gently rotate your fingers along side of it.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen bank notes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons. There is no turn off like the one where you are passionately kissing and in 2 seconds you have whipped it out or worse yet, have completely stripped.
17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks fist.
18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Slow is the key! In the beginning build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular movements.
19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
In the beginning this is cool. Very seductive, but don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her
clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours first; try talking seductively to her, and if all else
fails reciprocation is the key!
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you cum so she can do what's necessary.
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate all over them. In real life, it is disgusting and a sure fire way to put an end to your oral fantasies!
28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently around the torso area, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first or test the waters with your finger. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from pouring honey on her and licking it off to Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic sound. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because THEY HAVE A PROSTATE! Women don't.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.... and it looks pretty silly when its summer.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.
Juhannus
Juhannus on vuoden valoisimman ajan juhla, jota vietetään kesäkuu kesäpäpäivänsesaiksenSoumessa se on myös Suomen lipun päiva ja virallinen liputuspäivä. lähellä.
Juhannus on Suomessa keskikesän ja yöttömän yön juhla.Napapiirin pohjoispuolella aurinko ei laske lainkaan kesäpäivänseisauksena. Nykyisin juhannus on Suomessa suuri kansanjuhla.
Kesäpäivän seisaukseen, mittumaariin (ruotsin midsommar = keskikesä), on Pohjoismaissa liitetty samanlaisia menoja kuin jouluun. Kesäpäivän seisauksen aikaan aurinko on voimakkaimmillaan. Uskomuksen mukaan juhannuksena myös taika tehoaa vahvimmin, erityisesti näin on laita juhannusyönä. Juhannuskuusi, joka eroaa joulukuusesta siinä suhteessa, että kuusi karsittiin latvatupsuun asti, oli käytössä.
Nykyisiinkin suomalaisiin juhannusperinteisiin kuuluvat juhannuskoivut ja -kukat sekä Routsissa ja Suomen routsikielisillä alueilla lehvin ja kukin koristellut juhannussalot. Juhannuksena on tapana polttaa juhannuskokkoja , suuria nuotioita näkyvillä paikoilla, varsinkin rannoilla tai aukealla. Juhannustulilla auringolle on annettu lisävoimaa, mutta niillä arvellaan karkotetun myös pahoja henkiä.
Pohjoismaiden ja Baltian ulkopuolella juhannuksen juhlinta on hävinnyt, koskei pienempien leveyspiirien asukeilla ole yötöntä yötä valon ja hedelmällisyyden juhlimiseen.
Juhannuksen perinteinen paikka on 24. kesäkuuta. Esimerkiksi Norjasa , Virossa ja LatviaSuomessa juhannusta on vietetty vuodesta 1955 20. kesäkuuta - 26. kesäkuuta sattuvana lauantaina. Sama käytäntö on myös Ruotsissa juhannus on vieläkin perinteisellä paikallaan. alkaen välille
Vanhoja juhannusperinteitä vaalitaan vuosittain etenkin Helsingin Seurasaaressa järjestettävissä perinteisissä juhannusjuhlissa.
Suomessa juhannuksena on ollut melko usein lämpötila 20 °C paikkeilla. Nykyaikana huippulämmin juhannus koettiin 1999, jolloin päivälämpötilat olivat laajalti n. 30 °C.
Sony Ericsson K850i
General
Network HSDPA / GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900
Size
| Dimensions | 102 x 48 x 17 mm |
| Weight | 118 g |
Display
| Type | TFT, 256K colors |
| Size | 240 x 320 pixels, 2.2 inches |
| | - Wallpapers, screensavers |
Memory
| Phonebook | 1000 x 20 fields, Photo call |
| Call records | 30 received, dialed and missed calls |
| Card slot | Memory Stick Micro (M2)/microSD , 512 MB card included |
Data
| GPRS | Class 10 (4+1/3+2 slots), 32 - 48 kbps |
| HSCSD | Yes |
| EDGE | Yes |
| 3G | HSDPA, 3.6 Mbps (K850i only) |
| WLAN | No |
| Bluetooth | Yes, v2.0 with A2DP |
| Infrared port | No |
| USB | Yes, v2.0 |
Features
| Messaging | SMS, MMS, Email, Instant Messaging | |
| Browser | WAP 2.0/HTML (NetFront), RSS reader | |
| Games | Yes + downloadable | |
| Colors | Luminous Green, Velvet Blue | |
| Camera | 5 MP, 2592х1944 pixels, autofocus, video(QVGA@30fps), xenon flash and 3LED video light; auto lens cover, secondary videocall camera | |
| | - Java MIDP 2.0 - FM radio with RDS - MP3/AAC/MPEG4 player - Motion sensor (with UI auto-rotate) - TrackID music recognition - T9 - Image viewer - Picture editor/blogging - Organiser - Built-in handsfree - Voice memo/dial |
Battery
| Standard battery, Li-Po 930 mAh (BST-38) | |
| Stand-by | Up to 400 h |
| Talk time | Up to 9 h |
Prozac
Prozac is the most widely prescribed antidepressant drug in the world. Over 54 million patients worldwide have been prescribed Prozac for patients suffering from depression,obsessive compulsive disorder, bulimia nervosa and panic disorder. Prozac is prescribed for the treatment of depression--that is, a continuing depression that interferes with daily functioning. The symptoms of major depression often include changes in appetite, sleep habits, and mind/body coordination; decreased sex drive; increased fatigue; feelings of guilt or worthlessness; difficulty concentrating; slowed thinking; and suicidal thoughts.
Clinical depression (also called major depressive disorder, or unipolar depression when compared to bipolar disorder) is a state of intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living.
Although a low mood or state of dejection that does not affect functioning is often colloquially referred to as depression, clinical depression is a clinical diagnosis and may be different from the everyday meaning of "being depressed." Many people identify the feeling of being clinically depressed as "feeling sad for no reason", or "having no motivation to do anything." A person suffering from depression may feel tired, sad, irritable, lazy, unmotivated, and apathetic. Clinical depression is generally acknowledged to be more serious than normal depressed feelings. It often leads to constant negative thinking and sometimes substance abuse. Extreme depression can culminate in its sufferers attempting or committing suicide.
Without careful assessment, delirium can easily be confused with depression and a number of other pschiatrict disorder because many of the signs and symptoms are conditions present in depression, as well as other mental illnesses including dementia and psychosis.Särkynyt Sydän
Rakkaus jota kaipaan
Suudelma hellyys
Tapajolla kuiska "Rakastan sinua" korvaani
Mutta et happeaisi
Vaikka sen joku kuulisi
Miksi pitaisi muuttua?
Tuttu rakkausinytnin vieras
Nauruni itkuksi muuttuisi
kaikki rohkeuteni... kasuaisi peloksi
Sinusta tuli vieras, enkä houmannet
Kaikki oli ennen niin servaa, nyt sekavaa
Otit rakausteni selvyytenä
Josta mina valuin eroon
Ja siksi tiedan nyt
On mun sydän särkynyt
Mutta Mina Rakastan Sinua cHariecoy.... :(
Loving An Imperfect Person
They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her.
Today, she's being willful again.
Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay."
Him: "I don't have time that day."
Her: "Humph!"
Him: "Huh?"
Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need."
Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day."
Her: "Humph! I don't care, you'll have to do it for her!"
Him: "No."
Her: "Just this once?"
Him: "No."
Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..."
First day, she "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi... Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence".
Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.
Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences."
He's nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.
Third day, night. On the bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side.
Him: "We need to talk."
Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it."
Him: "It's something very important."
She remains silent.
Him:"Let's get a divorce."
She did not believe her ears.
Him: "I got to know a girl."
She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless.
Him: "She's a nice girl."
Her tears fell.
Him: "She has a good personality too."
She's heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married."
She's very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: "She loves me truly."
She wishes to sit up and scream at him "Don't I?"
Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do."
She's thinking, but the rage won't subside.
Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?"
Her: "...!"
He brings the photo before her eyes. She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.
He sighs. She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket. She pulls her hand back under the blanket.
He turns off the light, and sleeps. She turns on the light, and sits up. He's asleep. She lost sleep. She regrets treating him the way she treated him.
She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn't want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.
It's a nicely taken photo. A photo he took for her. She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.
He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.
"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."
Broken Heart
The love I will miss,
The gentleness of your kiss
The way you'd whisper "I love you" in my ear
But still not ashamed if anyone else was to hear
Why'd that have to change?
A familiar love, now so strange
All my laughter led to tears
All my courage...grown to fears
You became a stranger, I was never noticed
Everything was so clear, now so unfocused
You took my love for granted and tore it apart
And because of that, I know have a broken heart
Damn
There's no such thing as destiny
There are only different choices .
Some choices are easy some hard
Those are the really important ones
The ones that define as people.
Maybe its not the happiest of endings but it's the right one.